The Reality Is

The Two-Month Challenge

• Crossroads Community Church • Season 3 • Episode 31

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“How are you doing?” is a loaded question when we never slow down long enough to hear the real answer. For our season finale, we leave you with a two-month challenge that sounds simple but cuts straight through superficial relationships: ask someone how they’re doing every day, listen with genuine care, then offer encouragement and pray right then, not later.

We talk about why this matters in a world shaped by isolation, nonstop screens, and “fine” as a default mask. Real communication still looks like face-to-face conversation or a phone call, and real Christian community shows up as support in hard seasons, daily encouragement, and accountability that stirs up love and good works. We also dig into the difference between comforting someone and correcting them, why presence matters when people are grieving, and how sharing God’s faithfulness and our own scars can bring hope without turning into a lecture.

We close with practical ways to build a lifestyle of outward focus: call out the good you see in people, thank them specifically, let them know you’re praying for them, and choose “ask, listen, speak” as a natural way to connect with nonbelievers and speak the gospel into their story. If you want stronger relationships, deeper discipleship, and a more grounded prayer life, start here. Subscribe, share this with a friend, leave a review, and then tell us in the comments who you checked on today and what happened.

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Prayer At Bike Rallies

SPEAKER_01

You know, at the bike rallies I used to go to all the time, working with in Christian ministry. Um, Joey, we would set up just a booth that said, um, need prayer. And that's all it said. Just a big old sign that says need prayer. Yeah. You would be surprised at the people that would stop by. Especially at a bike rally. Um. I mean, I've had them stop by and go, I got caught drunk driving last night, and I I need, I need a prayer, man. I I can't pay that ticket. And I'd go, well, I can't pray for you not to pay the ticket because, dude, there's consequences. Yeah. But my whole point being, yeah, is people, even people that don't necessarily walk with God, know the power of praying. They thank you. They sure do. And and there is nothing more encouraging than somebody to come up to you and say, I've been praying for you. Yes. And there's nothing more encouraging that if you're going through some kind of stress in your life to hear people say, I'm praying for you, and to know that that you're on their mind. It's just like Paul said, every time you come to mind, I I pray for you. I thank God for you.

SPEAKER_03

The reality. The reality.

Season Finale And A Simple Challenge

SPEAKER_02

Welcome to the reality is podcast, where we're here today to talk about real life and real faith. And I've got to say, this is going to be our last podcast of the season. And what we wanted to do was kind of say, hey, let's leave them with something that we can challenge them, that over the next two months, they'll be able to put in their heart and they'll be able to live these things out. And I think you brought up a very good topic. And so I'll let you get to that. But before we do that, I want you guys to do us a favor. Would you like, subscribe, share this with a friend, and ring the bell? That way you never miss another episode of the Reality Is Podcast. But I'm going to turn it over to you because you said, hey, here's a challenge. Here's a challenge for everybody, us included, to do over the next two months while we are off for the season, but until we come back. And what is that challenge you wanted to leave with everybody?

Ask How They Are Then Listen

SPEAKER_01

You know, I I want to challenge them to ask others how they're doing every day, right?

SPEAKER_02

Okay. Okay. But but can we just ask them and they say fine and we can leave? Well, we're gonna we're gonna have them do that.

SPEAKER_01

Because do we really want to know how they're doing? And you know, this is one of those that we're actually gonna ask for for some feedback. I mean, we we would love to hear stories of how people begin to implement this and and they see that what we're telling them, because it's what scripture says, absolutely makes a difference, right? As we think about that, I'm convinced that we could have a greater impact on people if if we would take the time to hear from them. I believe that. Every day, ask somebody about himself or herself, okay? Genuinely listen. See, that does away with the fine I'm gone before responding, okay. Proverbs tells us he who answers a matter before he hears it is full, is a fool. Yeah. Okay. And then offer encouragement and say a prayer for at that moment or maybe later on about whatever you discussed. Absolutely. Um you see, it begins to focus on genuine care. And and Joey, we live in a world today that is so superficial, nothing's genuine, nothing's real. And we've got to get back to what I would argue is the basis of New Testament life, and that is they joined together daily and took care of the needs of one another.

SPEAKER_02

I love the last one you said, offer prayer for them right there. I remember being challenged about that a long time ago because how many times if somebody says, Hey, will you pray for me? And we say, Yeah, and that's it. Right. That's the end of it. We say yeah, but then we get busy, things happen, and we never end up actually praying for that person. So I love that challenge.

SPEAKER_01

And I think you have to, you know, and and and when we when we'll get in the habit of that, then then it'll make all the difference in the world. Yes, it does. And so I I would just encourage people. So, what are some ways that we can approach this and and begin to focus on others and why is it so important?

Why Isolation Is Wrecking Us

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, um, you know, the why. I think first of all, you have to, you know, around here we operate off a simple philosophy, which is not unique to us, but but it is we always answer the why before the what. Okay. And so what's the why here? To focus on others requires you to take attention off yourself. Okay. But I like myself.

SPEAKER_02

There's a lot of people out there going, but I really like myself.

SPEAKER_01

As I said Sunday. Oh, no, so you just said it in a permanent. Nobody likes me more than I like me. Yeah, okay. But when we take our attention off ourselves and and we begin to put it on others, we're we're walking with a Christ-like attitude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I like so much of our life has become solo operations. Okay. We we literally live in a world today that we we are we are so isolated. And you hear about it, especially with young people, but unfortunately, I I've read an article recently for for men. It used to be between 18 and 23, and now it actually goes up to age 35, 18 to 35, that are addicting themselves to these online games and you know, where you got multiple players and and everything. It's it's one thing to play occasionally, it's but these guys are becoming addicted to these things, right? Um and the point behind that is you're isolating yourself from people. Absolutely. Okay. We sit behind a screen, and we we've made comments of this on so many other podcasts. We sit behind a screen and and say that we're communicating with someone because we send them an email or we send them a text. Absolutely, right? We're not communicating with that person like that. There is nothing that replaces face-to-face contact.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, not at all. So not at all. I um was joking with one of our staff people about the church thing that they're now doing online where you can just go and you can put the goggles on and you can be encircled in the church and actually meet other people. You could go around and shake their hands and everything. We've really gotten to a moment where we're finding more and more ways to distance ourselves from people instead of drawing ourselves closer to each other. And look, I know a lot of introverts out there. I'm married to one, I said that very softly. Yeah. Who would rather say, no, I'm good by myself. Good thing she's married to an extrovert who says, No, we have to meet everybody and say hi to everybody. There's a balance. I do get that, I do know that. But we need to get back to actually communicating with each other face to face or a phone call. Here's the thing. And for I remember challenging him saying, okay, call somebody and call somebody, call somebody, right? Do this, call, call, call. And then I turned around and didn't call myself. And I said, ding, I've got I've got to actually follow through on the things I'm saying. So I don't want you guys to hear what we're saying and go, oh, we're making it sound like it's so easy. No, no, I get wrapped up in so many other things that I miss those opportunities to actually be communicating what you call real communication.

SPEAKER_01

Face-to-face and phone calls. And and again, I I get so busy doing ministry, right? That sometimes I fail to minister to God.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And and that's someone who does it, if you will, for a living. I know. Okay. So I know it's easy to get caught up. So what are some uh kind of subcategory, if you will, when we talk about this? Why is it so important? Okay. And and why is it important I take my attention off myself and put

Support Encouragement And Accountability

SPEAKER_01

it on others? You know, first of all, the I need support. John 16, 33 says, These things I've spoken to you that in this world you're going to have tribulation. Yeah. All right. So it's not like troubles are a surprise to us. And by the way, this is believers Christ is talking to. Okay. And so in this world, you're going to have, you're going to have tribulation. Yeah. So I need the support in my life. And I need people around me, and and I need to be around people. Oh, okay. And so the support is essential.

SPEAKER_02

Support is such a good thing. I mean, I I cannot tell you how many times I've gone through because again, you are going to go through tribulation. Let's just call it what it is. You're going to go through it. How many times have I gone through tribulation but had the support of a dear friend? I mean, let's let's just even go recently. Like, how many times have I come to you and say, Man, I I'm going through this again. But for you to be there to support and to like that is such a good thing. That would never happen ever, if we didn't start a relationship with each other, if we didn't communicate with the I'll I'll go back to when I first met you, and you remember me, because you challenged me on this when I first met you, and I was like so closed off to people. I said, I just don't want to do because every time I get into a friendship, they end up hurting me, and I'm tired of the hurt. And you were like, I remember you're like, Joe, you don't get to do that. You don't you don't get to close yourself off to people because I don't I don't want to tell people how I'm doing. I don't I just didn't want to get, but then you and I would never have the relationship we had.

SPEAKER_01

You you can't, and nor would we have the support, right? Or the support, exactly. And uh which brings us to the other idea, that's encouragement, right? Um the support that walks with me through through the valley, um, and then the encouragement as I'm going through it, right? First Thessalonians 511, comfort each other, edify each other. I mean, that's that's what he says, and so it is essential that that we have that encouragement.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. I love that. It's so necessary. And I am an encourager, like I love encouraging people, but it's good to be encouraged by others as well. And it's such a it's such a challenging thing. Like I I'll admit, I know for a lot of people encouraging others is not something they're comfortable doing. But the Bible says encourage one another daily while until today, right? Unless your heart is hardened by sin's deceit in in Hebrews. So so this is actually a command that we're supposed to be doing.

SPEAKER_01

Exactly, and and encouragement should be easy for you, right? And it should I I get the fact that it's hard to take it, right? One of the worst things in the world is is when you're talking about elders, pastors, lay people that are committed to their walk with God, committed because we are so accustomed to taking care of others. Yeah, and and I will tell you, the worst person in the world to care for is a caregiver. I mean, they really are, because they don't want to be cared for because they're so used to caring for others, yeah, right. And so we're there for them. And then then I would argue part of this is accountability, right? Hebrews 10, 24 and 25, not to forsake the assembling of yourselves together, right? And and to stir up love and good works. And we're we're we need to be accountable to to other believers. We need to be accountable. Are we doing the things that God has called us to do?

SPEAKER_02

Which is super important. And a lot of people, I would say, don't want accountability. No, because a lot of times if I'm there to hold you accountable to what you have said, that means I have to challenge you. And a lot of times people I would say it goes both ways. Sometimes people don't want to be challenged. And then we talked about this a few podcasts before. Sometimes people don't want to be the one challenging people because they don't want to ruin that friendship or that relationship. Well, if it's a true friendship, true relationship, a godly relationship, and you truly love, you're going to hold them accountable.

SPEAKER_01

Exactly. Look, if you enjoy confronting people, you've completely missed what scripture calls you to do.

SPEAKER_04

Okay? It's just that simple.

SPEAKER_01

We know a few of those people. Exactly. You know, um, you know, God, God has called me to keep you straight. Okay. And I mean, look, if if that's it's just like when you hear people talk about church discipline. Listen, if church discipline is your favorite uh favorite activity, then you've completely missed what God's called you to do. And and and so, but but that support and that confrontation and that walk, it's it's essential.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And so the why of what we're talking about is it takes the attention off me. All right. So what do I do with that? Right. Okay, to focus on others brings comfort and encouragement to them. All right. And and so if I'm not worried about me and and I'm worried about others, and and my focus on them, it brings comfort and encouragement in their life. Again, we've already made mention of it. Uh 1 Thessalonians 5, verse 11 uses those two words. I want you to comfort people, I want you to encourage people.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Build them up, man. What do you tell us? Build them up. I'm here to build you up, not to tear you down.

SPEAKER_01

And and so when we stop and we think about that, listen, when when I step into someone's life, uh, it's the same as saying, you're not alone. Yeah, God is with you, and I am too. Right. And and Joey, you can you can do anything when you're not alone. Uh right. Two are better than one. Exactly. And and I think back to, you know, my former career and and you know, and when you're in a a really bad situation by yourself, let me tell you something. You you don't know what by yourself is is until you're you're literally by yourself. Yeah and your closest help can't get to you. I mean, they just can't, right? They're coming, but they're not gonna get there before this is over. Okay. And and when you're there, and but I'm telling you, one other person, and you can take the world on. Now you may still lose, but but you feel yeah, there's there's a confidence that comes with that. But now, in spiritually speaking, you're not gonna lose, right? Because as you said, two two are stronger than one. And and so it is so important for me to try to get people to understand I want to step into other people's life with comfort and encouragement. Now, we've made this comment on so many podcasts, and I want to remind people you cannot step into everyone's life. No, you can't, right? Some of some of the things that you're stepping into requires a relationship to step into that. Very, very much so. Very much so. But you you can offer words of encouragement to anyone.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and that's what I'm thinking. We we aren't talking about the deep, deep, hey, oh, oh, this is what you're going through because you share that. But there's always a way to encourage somebody with what they're going through. Absolutely. Always. And if you're in the word, if you're in the scriptures, and we talked about this last week. If you have a verse that you've memorized, guess what you're able to do? You're able to share that truth and put it in that person's life.

SPEAKER_01

All the way. And and so we speak God's word into the situation. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02

There's nothing wrong with that. And how many times, and I'm I'm sure this has happened with you, how many times in my life have I been studying a verse for that day, and then the Lord, because you're always praying, Lord, help me to share, help me to and He does, and somebody comes into your life, and what are you able to do? Man, I was just reading this morning, and this is what it says. Exactly. That's the encouragement. I didn't need to get deep into their life. I did. This is the word that God gave me this morning, and behold, it must have been for you.

SPEAKER_01

Because and and I think sometimes it it kind of brings me to another idea there, and that is be present, not just to correct people.

Comfort First Then Correct Later

SPEAKER_01

There you go. Okay. Romans 12, 15 says, Listen, I want you to rejoice with those who rejoice, I want you to weep with those who weep. All right. Look, if I've blown my life up, I know that I've blown my life up. And quite honestly, I don't need you to tell me I've blown my life up. Okay? I I've already figured that out. What I need you to do is weep with me as I weep. Yeah. Now that doesn't mean you ignore my sin. It doesn't mean you don't speak to that. There's another point for that. But sometimes I just need someone to quit telling me what a bonehead I am and what a horrible mistake I made. And sometimes just sit with me and say, you know what? God's grace. Yeah. God's grace. Yeah. And and so that and again, hear what I'm saying. There will be a time for the confrontation. Oh, yeah. But sometimes it's just being in somebody's life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

There are people who actually have that gift of letting you know how wrong you are. Oh, exactly. It's a gift. It's a gift. Yeah. As you read through it and you go, okay, look, okay, here's the situation. Da-da-da. Well, let me well, well, can I tell you what you did wrong so I can help you out with it? No, don't need that right now. Encourager, can the encourager come and just encourage me?

SPEAKER_01

And my experience is the person with that gift is typically wrong. So, you know, and and so that's that we'll do that podcast one day. Um, you know, and so it it is absolutely essential though that that we we encourage and and we comfort. Yes. All right, that that's what scripture calls us to do. Now there is places that we challenge, but encourage and comfort, right? But I also would argue to focus on others, share God's stories of faithfulness. There you go. That's good. You know, that's really good. Man, when I look back on my life, and you and I've had these conversations, both both of us were in secular careers that were difficult at best to be strong Christians in. Okay. And I look back where I could have been and and and recognize you know, God's faithfulness. And and and I look back at some of the circumstances, some of the some of the situations I've been in that, you know, without obviously going into to it all, but uh circumstances and situations I've been in that quite honestly shouldn't have walked out of. Yeah. Right. But God's faithfulness. Now, why me and not someone else? I can't answer that, right? But what I can do is I can share stories of God's faithfulness in those moments that that I look back on and I go, I shouldn't have survived that.

SPEAKER_02

I should not be here right now.

SPEAKER_01

But for whatever reason, God brought me through that. Now, unfortunately, others he didn't.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But but when I think about that, I still say God's faithfulness, you know, and and Joey, when we can share that with people and and just remind them that even though we don't always see it and it doesn't always make sense to us, his ways are not our ways, his thoughts are not our thoughts, but he is faithful.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and and at least from what you're talking about, those are situations that you were kind of forced into because of what you did. Exactly. I would say for me, there's a lot of my own dumb situations, and I know you've got plenty of those too. I'm not, I'm not saying you don't, but I have plenty of dumb situations where I look on and go, I I shouldn't be alive. I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing right now because of a dumb decision that I made. But grace, but God, because he has a plan. This is where memorizing scripture goes, because he does have a plan for me to give me a hope and a future, to build me up, not to tear me down, because I love him. And now I know he's going to work it all together, Romans, because I love him and I'm called according to his purpose. So for his good he's got this is where those scriptures can start speaking to you. But look, I've got I've got scars for things that I should not have done. And it's a great reminder to just look at my scars and go, man, God pulled me through that. And God has such a great plan for me because that shows me I should not be here right now.

SPEAKER_01

No, all the way, you know. And and when you go back and you look, David in in the scriptures, King David, and and we go back and we look at his life. And you know what? David had highs and lows. And there were times that he really walked with God, and there was times that he was a real bonehead. Okay. And when you go back and you look at that, but in Psalm 71, which most scholars attribute to David, uh, listen to what he said. Oh God, you have taught me from my youth. Otherwise, he's saying, you know what, I know right from wrong. Right. And he goes, and to this day I declare your wondrous works. And then he says, Now also when I am old and gray-headed, oh God, do not forsake me until I declare your strength to this generation, your power to everyone who is to come. Right. Now, when I read those words and I think about David saying, as I'm old and gray-headed, and I look at everything that went on in David's life, right? And when you read Solomon, his son's writings, and you read those in Proverbs, and you read all those warnings about lust and all those warnings about adulterous relationships, and I mean worshiping other gods and where it's going to turn your heart. And you know, you don't think David could put a check mark beside all those boxes. Yeah. But God's wondrous works. Yeah. Right. And so when I say encourage people, listen, yes, I I can sit down and and I can say, you know what? The Bible's very clear, and I should. All right, there is a time for that. Hear what I'm saying, but there's also a time. To sit down and weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. And there's a time for me to sit down and say, you know, I realize our situation is not the same, but like you said, I got scars to prove my foolishness.

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

But man, it's amazing how God brings us through. Amen. There's a word of encouragement to that. And that's all they need. I was talking to someone Sunday and they're getting ready to have knee replacement. And in 2017, I had double knee replacement. And and and in that conversation, the the person was saying, I I'm so scared about my upcoming surgery. And I said, look, and I was honest with them. I said it's gonna hurt. Right? I mean, I'm not gonna tell them, oh, you're not even no, it hurts. Okay. But I explained to them it's a different kind of pain. Yeah. Right. While while it really hurts, it's a different kind of pain because it's not that pain that kept me awake every night. It's that pain that says I'm getting better. Okay. And so when we really give something to God, it hurts. Wow. But it's not that pain of that remorse of that sin. It's that pain of I'm getting better. Right? And a great spiritual parallel there. Exactly. That's wonderful. You know, and so we just know that. And we realize that I can share that with people. I I don't have to say, let me give you my laundry list of horrible things I've done, but I can say, you know what, God has brought me through so much sin and so much stupidity in my life, and He'll do the same for you. You can wallow in this and you can make yourself an outcast. And yes, the self-righteous will make you an outcast. Or you can say, you know, in my gray hair, I want to tell people about how God brought me to the point I'm at in life.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. That's encouraging. Or at least in your case, the gray goatee, because you'll you'll never have gray hair. Right.

SPEAKER_00

No, no, God saw to that in my 30s. So but it still works. Exactly. There's wisdom there. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01

Well, you know, I I think another area that we really want to encourage people in in the next couple of months

Say The Good Out Loud

SPEAKER_01

to think about. We focus on others. It makes you call out the good you see in them. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

That's really good. Now think about one of those. Sometimes it's really hard. You got to dig deeper to see the good.

SPEAKER_01

You know? But but again, Philippians 1.3. I I thank my God every time I remember you. Yes. Right? What happens is we tend to pick on the negatives. And especially for our parents out there, right? I mean, I get it. Like we tend to pick on the negatives, but I think all of us need to have a grandparent mentality because, you know, one of my one of my girls might say, you know, my child, and I'm like, oh, not my little grandchild. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It is so important. Yes, I mean, there is correction, and yes, there are times that we got to call out. But again, I'm just saying there are times that we see the good and we ignore it in people. You know, when when's the last time you just you just thank somebody for for being an encouragement to you? Or maybe you call them out in a good sense about how you see them serve God or how you see them treat others. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02

And I'm thinking everybody listening right now probably has that one person in their mind that they're thinking of that they can reach out to and they can call and they can say, Hey, I just want to I want to thank you because and then name something good. Name something good in their life, name something they have done that has helped you, that has encouraged you, that's helped build you up. Look, that's gonna it's gonna change their life, but I I know it's gonna change your life too because I've done that and I've watched how my heart changes as I'm thanking other people.

SPEAKER_01

And and why is that important, right? Hebrews 3 13, you've quoted it a couple of times already, but exhort one another. Listen, while it's called today, okay. So why do we do that? Well, the writer of Hebrews told us, lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. Yeah. Okay. So today I call out the good in people. And and you know, I I when I do that, it it prevents, it encourages, it strengthens. One, it does take my attention off me. And the other thing is is it allows the person to know, you know what, maybe I'm being more effective for the kingdom than I thought I was. And and I don't know how many times I've I've said to people, you know, I really appreciate what you do, and they go, well, it's nothing. And I go, No, there's no such thing as nothing in the kingdom.

SPEAKER_02

Exactly. Everything is accounted for, every little thing is accounted for. But I like how you put it. Somebody may actually be going through something right now, and that phone call thanking them is going to make them go, Wow, wow, God, God, I didn't think I was doing anything for you. And that call changed their life to make them say, now I can keep going. Exactly. Now I can serve the Lord because it did affect somebody.

SPEAKER_01

Right. You know, and and it's so important. I we had a couple of our college students that that that have been here for a couple of years serving and working with us. And last Wednesday night was their their last time with us, right? And uh I just had an opportunity to tell both of them. One of them's on your worship team and and one of them works with our kids. And and and I just had an opportunity to tell both of them the impact they've made on me. And I I told them a couple of probably six, eight months ago, maybe a little longer, but but four or five of our college students always kind of sit off to my right and on a row. And dude, I love to watch them look them girls worship.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, they can work.

SPEAKER_01

Right. Right. And so I told them one day at our college lunch, I told him, I said, you know, I just want y'all to know that when I look over at you and you're worshiping, it makes me worship. And they all kind of looked at me, they were waiting on the punchline, which I don't know why people because you always have one, that's why. Uh but but I told him, I said, ladies, I'm serious. I said, Y'all don't know the blessing you are because I know it's not a show. Yeah, I know it's not for attention, right? And and and tell people, yeah, you know, just just let people know you being you make a difference in my life.

SPEAKER_02

And how hard was it for you to do that? There was no real sweat for you to tell somebody, man, I love watching you worship because it helps me to engage even more.

SPEAKER_01

And and so when you do that, man, right, it it just makes all the difference in the world. And it takes the attention off you and it puts it on them and and makes all the

Pray Right Now And Mean It

SPEAKER_01

difference. And so that's so good. You know, uh also I would say to focus on others, it makes you pray for them. But I would argue, yes, praying for them is important, but let them know that you're praying for them. That's key. It makes all the difference in the world.

SPEAKER_02

That that extra statement right there, because again, yeah, you can be praying for them, but when you let somebody know that you're praying for them, wow, does it change their world?

SPEAKER_01

Exactly. And it it it lets them know you're you're not in it by yourself. Yeah, right. And one of the things, and we all do it, all the elders here at our church. I've seen, I believe, every one of us at some point doing it, but I've seen numerous of our lay leaders do it as well. And that is different places on our campus, you can see people praying. And I know exactly what's happened there. Somebody has said, Hey, would you pray for me for this? And they go, Yeah, right now. Yeah. Right? That's it. And and um I I do it, I'm telling you, I've I've prayed for people standing in at gas stations, I've prayed for them standing in in department stores. Because what's a better time than right now? No other time. Right? If it's on your heart enough right now to ask me to pray for you, it should be on my heart right now enough to pray for you right now.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, get guess what I'm doing? I'm praying for you. I saw some, it was, I know it was an advertisement. It was a guy wearing like a jacket, and on the back of it, it said, tap my shoulder if you want me to pray for you. Yeah. I'm going, that's so good. Because that's shouldn't that be the heart of every Christian? You know, to say, hey, if you have a need, I'm here for you, and I'm willing and ready to pray for you right now.

SPEAKER_01

Right. And and, you know, I realize people do things different and different ideas, different ways, and and stuff like that. But, you know, at the bike rallies I used to go to all the time working with in Christian ministry, Joey. We would set up just a booth that said, need prayer, and that's all it said. Just a big old sign that says need prayer. Yeah, you would be surprised at the people that would stop by. Especially at a bike rally. Um I mean, I've had them stop by and go, I got caught drunk driving last night, and I I need I need a prayer, man. I I can't pay that ticket. And I'd go, Well, I can't pray for you not to pay the ticket because, dude, there's consequences. Yeah, but my whole point being, yeah, is people, even people that don't necessarily walk with God, know the power of prayer. Thank you. They sure do. And and there is nothing more encouraging than somebody to come up to you and say, I've been praying for you. Yes. And and there's nothing more encouraging that if you're going through some kind of stress in your life to hear people say, I'm praying for you, and to know that that you're on their mind. It's just like Paul said, every time you come to mind, I I pray for you. I thank God for you.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. I I literally got one of those texts last week. It was in the middle of the week. Hey, God, put you, your wife, and your child on my heart. I'm praying for you right now. Whoa. Whoa, talk about blown away. Like what this isn't a person like like if if you say, Hey, Joey, I'm praying for you, yeah. I know. I know you and I have the relations, you're you're praying for me, I'm praying for you. This was just like out there, not somebody who I talk to on a regular basis. Hey, the Lord put it on my heart to pray for you and your wife and your kids. And and I I did, and I was like, when I tell you blown away.

SPEAKER_01

Right. Well, you know, we had the family member pass uh a couple of weeks ago, and I I had a uh a lady stop me Sunday. I wish I could say I knew everybody by name, right? But but I honestly I didn't know her by name. I recognized her face, right? But she stopped me Sunday in in the hallway and and she just looked at me and and and I can't explain that the the look on her face was just one of honest peace and and and a person that walks with God. I don't know any other way to put it. But she looked at me and she said, Pastor, I just want you to know I've been praying for you in joy, right? And and just walked off, right? But she went being, I mean, it didn't walk off, yeah. But just dude, it is so important that that people know and and and that's the key.

SPEAKER_02

Let people know that they're being prayed for.

SPEAKER_01

And you know, I I would argue the other idea of that to focus on others makes you listen. Okay, and and we we joke about it. The the hey, how you doing today? Fine, and we bow out. Right. We have learned our pet answer is fine. Yeah, and and I'm okay, I'm okay. Well, no, you're not okay. Blessed and highly faithful. Exactly. You know, better than I deserve, right? We we know all the right. Stop with all the Christian answers. Exactly. It it makes you stop and listen to people. And and listen, a fool has no delight in understanding but in expressing his own heart. That's what Proverbs tells us. And so here's here's a fact you begin to know who who are the people in your life that will listen to what you have to say. And and you begin to know who it is in your life that literally cares how you're doing, opposed to that's just what I'm supposed to say.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So here's two people, hey, how you doing? And that person just go to God, I'm fine, you know? And then you have this person, hey, what's going on? Right. What's happening in your life? Oh, oh, there's a person that cares. And because that person is now taking the time to listen and hear me. Man, when people know that they're being heard, it changes their lives.

SPEAKER_01

Well, and and I wish I could say differently, but man, I gotta plead 10,000 times guilty to getting so busy.

SPEAKER_02

Oh we all do.

SPEAKER_01

Uh but I I I I I know that, but but I get so busy again doing ministry that I lose sight of the people that I'm ministering to. Well, yeah. Right. And and it it it literally gets to the point that sometimes we gotta listen to people, yeah, which means we gotta lay the phone down, we gotta close the commute uh the computer. Again, face to face. Uh I I was speaking with a with a guy here at church the other day, and it it just reminds me how important it is to spend time and and to to hear people, to see people. Again, yeah, technology is great, it has its places. I'm not the anti-technology guy. I mean, I'm I'm I'm for it. We use a lot of it here at our church. Our media pastor, you know, Rhett does so much with it to get the word out, let people know who we are. It's got its place. But a computer, AI, you know, they got now AI conversations you can have, it will never replace the person. No. It's that simple. No.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's good. And like you said earlier, hey, if I'm just if I'm asking you how you're doing, and I'm already responding to you before you've even answered me, that that's a foolish look on me. Exactly. That's making me look foolish.

SPEAKER_01

All the way. And then I I would argue one more thing, just over the summer, think about this.

Ask Listen Speak With Nonbelievers

SPEAKER_01

To focus on others means to connect with non-believers, right? Again, we can't say that enough. I can't I'd be all of us.

SPEAKER_02

That should be the reason why we're doing what we're doing. But you'll hear the argument from plenty of people that you shouldn't have relationships with known believers. Well, then who are you sharing Jesus with? Right? Like that's just my easy answer. I mean, I I don't know, but you should be finding some known believers that you can actually share Jesus with.

SPEAKER_01

Well, if you're gonna follow the logic of you shouldn't be, then you got a real problem with what Christ did while he was on earth. Thank you. Right. Those those sinners and tax collectors got him in all kinds of trouble. You know, I I would argue, you know, I've said it so many times, I don't know how long ago, I just put three simple words together and and you know, ask, listen, and speak. Okay. So it's so easy. Ask people their story. And and the problem with that is is my story's better than your story, Joey. You know, so when I ask you your story and you get about two sentences into it, I'm bored because I'm my story's a whole lot better than that. Let me let me tell you my story. Yeah. And and and so the person And you do it trying to connect. Exactly. Ask people their story and be quiet. Just listen. And let them tell their story. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm listening to their story, but I'm listening with the gospel in mind. So if you tell me, I go, hey, tell me, how did you wind up here in the low country? And you go, you know, and so you listen to what they say. Well, I I I I I lost everything I had where I was, and and I'm starting over. Well, you know, the Bible tells us to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. Now I can speak the gospel back into their story. Yeah, absolutely. You know, I just felt like you know what? I had nothing. I lost everything. I had no family, I had no friends, I had nothing. Man, I'm just starting over. Well, the Bible tells us that and we can speak the gospel back into that story. Wonderful. Right. And put people in your life that you can speak the gospel back into their story.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, man, that's good. What a challenge for the summer, for the next two months, to actually, if we boil all of that down, to consider others higher than yourself. Right. It's basically what you're asking us to do for the next two months. And then I also believe that as you do it over the next two months, it's going to become a lifestyle, it's going to become a habit. And once it becomes a habit of you putting others higher than yourself and really digging into their life and finding out the truth about them, man, it's not just changing their life, it's changing your life. Right. And so what a what a great challenge. I know we have a few minutes, but just tell us reality. Reality for the next two months.

SPEAKER_01

The solution to being self-centered, okay? Because when we don't do the things we've talked about, we're self-centered. The solution to that is one build strong relationships. Amen. Biblically. Amen. Hebrews 10 24, let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works. Okay. And so I I would argue that when when I'm considering one another, that I'm building up love and good works, that that I'm doing what God has called me to do. In order to do that, you gotta learn to give yourself away. All right. Ephesians 2, 8.9 reminds us, for by grace are you saved. It's not of works. Any one of us boasts. Right, right. And then he comes to verse 10, but we are his workmanship. Yes. Created into Christ Jesus unto good works. All right. So I'm going to give myself away to the good works that Christ has called me to do. Amen. All right. So I'm stirring up love and good works. I'm doing that in such a way that I'm giving myself away as as I've been called to. I think if we look at it this way, we all have 168 hours a week. We all have the same right. You get them, I get them. And until God says you don't get them anymore. Yeah. Right. The difference is how we spend those hours. And so if I spend my hours wrongly, then that's on me. That's not on anyone else. So the world says get all you can get. God says give all you can get.

SPEAKER_02

Give all you can.

SPEAKER_01

So which brings us to practice self-denial.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

1 John 3, 16 and 18. By this we know love because he laid his life down for us. And we also laid it down our life for our brother. Okay, so we hear that and we go, you mean you want me to die for them? Possibly. But more likely, whoever has this world's goods and sees his brother in need and shuts up his heart from him, how does he say the love of God abides in him? So I see my brother hurting and I walk past him.

SPEAKER_02

This is what he's talking about. Yeah. Wow. That is good. That's actually so deep. And I and I think it's a great ending to our season to have people just look on at their life and say, hey, am I looking out for myself? Because yeah, the world tells you, self, man, self. You gotta look out for yourself, man. Or am I doing what the Bible says, which is looking out for others. Exactly. Even at the sake of myself, so that I can build them up. Man, that's good. Thank you very much. And thank you guys for tuning in to the closing of our season, the reality is podcast, where we're here talking about real life and real faith.

Self-Denial And Season Sendoff

SPEAKER_02

Hey, would you do us a favor? Like, subscribe, share this with your friends, subscribe, um, and ring the bell. That's what it is. Ring the bell. That way you'll never miss another episode. And you talked about earlier. Hey, we want to hear some comments. Exactly. We want to hear some comments. So, what we're asking you to do is over the next two months, as you're doing this, would you go on and would you comment and let us know how you've affected somebody else's life, how this has affected your life. And we're gonna be challenged to do the same thing. And prayerfully, when we come back in the season, we could say, hey, this is what we have done, right? Uh and and this is how we watched our life change, and we were able to see others' lives change. So praise God for that. Once again, thank you. God bless you. We look forward to seeing you guys in the next season. Take care.

SPEAKER_03

The reality. Well, real life meets real life. The reality is, you know, that's the same.