The Reality Is
Welcome to "The Reality Is," a podcast where the pastors of Crossroads Community Church gather to discuss the practical application of biblical principles in our daily lives. Join us as we explore how faith can guide us through the challenges and triumphs of real life. Whether it's relationships, work, or personal growth, we're here to help you live out your faith meaningfully. This podcast's premise is about how to apply biblical principles to our everyday lives. Tune in for insightful conversations that inspire and empower you to pursue Christ with every moment of your life.
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The Reality Is
Using Godly Wisdom to Recognize Foolish Advice
How can we recognize foolish people and advice in our lives? This episode explores biblical definitions of folly and practical steps to avoid misleading guidance. We discuss the importance of consulting the Bible and godly wisdom when navigating advice, ensuring that our decisions are informed by our faith.
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You know, seeking God's will isn't easy.
Speaker 2:No, it's not.
Speaker 1:And that's something that people struggle with, because I don't know how many times I've said and heard, said I wish God would just put it on a billboard.
Speaker 2:You know, could I?
Speaker 1:just drive down the highway and there it is right, but he does. He doesn't put it in a billboard, but he does put it in a book, but he does, he doesn't put it in a billboard, but he does put it in a book.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Reality Is podcast, where we're here to talk about real life and real faith.
Speaker 2:And speaking of real life and real faith, I just wanted to bring something up really quick. As you know, I am living on what some people would call a farm, and now that we have this baby horse that you have corrected me and said it's a foal our new mission is to set up a fence, and so now I've got to build this 40 by 80 fence with a gate, and part of what we're talking about today is folly, which means foolishness, and I was thinking as I looked up the definition. It says lack of good sense, right, and in my lack of good sense, I have discovered what I cannot do with a fence is make a straight line. For the life of me, I just can't do it, and I know you as an ex-farmer I guess you would call yourself because you have done the farming thing. Do you have any advice for a foolish guy trying to build a fence? How do you keep a straight line? Man, this is impossible. Pull a string.
Speaker 1:There's no other way. You've got to pull a string. My string is pulled this way. Well, that I can't help you with. Get a straight string? I don't know.
Speaker 2:They don't sell them in the stores, I promise you, the strings are not there.
Speaker 1:Well, my best advice for building a fence is that you know, fence builders need money too.
Speaker 2:Just pay somebody Pay somebody to come and do it. That's how I build fences. Well, I'm trying, I'm trying. So that's my future is trying to build a straight fence.
Speaker 1:I don't want to delay the point here, but I will say I would come help you, but I'm still being criticized over cutting your trees and dropping it on my barn. Well, there we go. We're picky, See we're picky.
Speaker 2:Hey, truthfully, the tree did get dropped. It almost got dropped on me, but we dropped the tree exactly how we wanted, so I can build a fence.
Speaker 1:So praise God.
Speaker 2:We'll probably get you over for that. Well, today we are talking about folly and you know, over the past few weeks we've been talking about some what I think are really important topics. We've been talking about friendship, we've been talking about being accountable. But last week you brought up something extremely important that I feel everybody should have a mentor, everybody should have a mentor and everybody should be mentored and we should be trying to mentor somebody else. And then we brought up something really important. We talked about how do you find a mentor and how do you know if that person is a good mentor. And we talked about you brought up a Bible verse in Proverbs about foolishness.
Speaker 2:And the Bible tells us in Proverbs it says answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes. The self-confident fool thinks too highly of himself and his opinion. Confident fool thinks too highly of himself and his opinion and he shares them freely. And so, as we were talking about that, I thought and we agreed last week we should talk about what folly is, because a lot of people hear that word and then they don't understand it.
Speaker 2:In fact, here in South Carolina we have a beach called Folly Beach that people just decide, hey, let's go to Folly Beach, not realizing that that means the foolish beach, but that's okay. I was just telling, hey, let's go to Folly Beach, not realizing that that means the foolish beach, but that's okay. I was just telling Ray it's actually my favorite beach to go to. But I looked up the dictionary definition and I brought part of it up earlier. It says a lack of good sense or normal prudence and foresight, and it also says it's the state or quality of being foolish a lack of understanding or sense. What would you say to people who may or may not know that they literally have somebody in their life who's speaking foolishly to them?
Speaker 1:You know, when we stop and we think about the way we listen to advice or the people we listen to, unfortunately, we say we're seeking advice, but what we're doing is we're seeking people that will agree with our point of view, and that's not seeking advice. And so how can we recognize foolish people? How can we recognize foolish advice? In our culture we say foolish, we think about being silly or acting ridiculous, but that's not what the Bible calls foolish. No, not at all. And you know, a fool is a person who rejects God and rejects God's Word. And so the Bible tells us in Psalm 14, in verse 1, the fool has said in his heart there is no God. And so obviously, as believers, we know that any advice that we want, we want to make sure it lines up with God's Word. Now you always get into someone who says but the Bible doesn't talk about, and then they talk about some modern invention or something you know.
Speaker 1:We have to remember that James tells us all good and perfect gifts come from the Father above. And so we understand that all good and perfect. Now the problem is all good and perfect gifts indeed come from the Father above, and sinful man corrupts those. Because the fool has said in his heart there is no God, and so that's the first thing. Also, proverbs 1.7 says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction, and so when we're talking about how to recognize a foolish person, it's beginning to recognize that person that has absolutely no desire to be instructed on anything in life and unfortunately we have a world full of that. They see their side and they have no desire to have a conversation whatsoever. And then, of course, proverbs 26, 11 I think, is a verse that helps us really understand how to identify that fool.
Speaker 1:It says as a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly. You know what? If this person is constantly falling back into the same rat hole, as I like to say, then I think certainly if we need to be knowledgeable or at least understand this person, this person is not the one that is making rash decisions that are anything approving to God. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I was just talking to one of my children the other day and I said baby, you keep doing the same things and you're expecting a different result from these things that you keep on doing. People call that insanity. That's crazy, but we see that in Christians' lives a lot. They say, hey, I can overcome this or I can get through this, but they keep doing the same thing that led them into the same sin that they were doing. And you have to look at that and it's exactly what you said. It's a dog returning to his vomit and therefore he's just being foolish and you've got to break out of that cycle. But that's a heart change as well, isn't it? Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And if they're not in a right relationship with God, then none of this is going to fit and they're going to continue. It's the same as Galatians 5.16 tells us that either I'm pursuing the things of God or I'm pursuing the things of the world. But I can't pursue both. And so when I stop and I understand that and I really begin to rationalize that, then the question becomes what is it that I'm seeking? Who am I talking to? Who am I listening to? As you said, the definition the world calls it of insanity.
Speaker 1:I'm doing the same thing over and over, and somehow or another, I think there's going to be a different result. And so I'm seeking my advice or my direction from the same people that continue to lead me down the same rat hole and somehow or another, I think they're going to get it right at some point. And unfortunately, when the fool has said in his heart there is no God, and then, as a dog returns to his vomit and I know, as graphic as that sounds, it's still just the truth and so we continue to go back to the same people. To go back to the same people, I think about it If someone says to you well, I'm not talking to this person or that person because, and then you go well, typically that's a pretty godly person and help me understand more and then they give you two or three other people that have given them the same advice and they're not talking to them either. At some point you got to say, as a dog returns to his vomit.
Speaker 2:Well, a lot of times we just like to hear from the people that make us feel good, and there's something to be said for that, because it's not about feeling good, it's not about my selfish wants or my selfish desires. A lot of times it's somebody trying to speak into your life to let you know, hey, what you're doing is going to lead you to a path of destruction. This isn't the smartest thing to do. Let me give you some biblical wisdom and some guidance to help you go in the direction that you should be going. But, like you said, the foolish person is going to go. Be going, but, like you said, the foolish person is going to go.
Speaker 2:I don't like that advice. Let me go to somebody else. And so, hey, I'm going to go to Pastor Richard. And well, pastor Richard told me to do this and I don't like that. So I'm going to go to Joey. And well, joey told me the same thing I'm going to go to. And now they find somebody away from our church and they've got some advice from this person who's considered to be a counselor, and they go. Oh, I like that advice, but that person's not giving them biblical, sound instruction that's going to lead them to the path of righteousness. Instead, it's leading them to a path of destruction. They have been warned by just about everybody on staff here this is not the way you want to go. And then they come back and go. Well, I don't know how this happened.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, we find that in Romans 1. Okay, when we come to Romans 1 and we start at verse 18 and we work our way to the end of the chapter, we begin to find the fool and listen to what he says. He said that this is the progression of foolishness. He said they knew God, but they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him. But their thinking became futile and their foolish heart darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools, and here's why they exchanged the glory of God for images made to look like mortal human beings, birds, animals and reptiles, and other translations say they worshiped the creation over the creator.
Speaker 1:When we stop and we begin to understand, this is our definition of foolishness. It's where I'm not going to give thanks to God, I'm not going to accept what God says to me, and I'm going to look until I find someone that will tell me what I want to hear. And I will tell you this if I'm looking for the one that will tell me what I want to hear, typically they're in the same rat hole I'm in, and so they're going to agree with what I have to say and where I'm at.
Speaker 2:And we've all got this kind of moral checker that's like inside of us. I think it's like, hey, I kind of know this isn't what I'm supposed to do, but I'm trying to find somebody that's going to affirm what I'm doing because it's going to make me feel better about myself. But inside, even if you don't know the Bible, you don't read the Word, somebody's not speaking the Word into your life. There's still something inside of you that's saying this is not the path you should be taking, which is why, in the first place, you're trying to find advice, because you've already had that check in your spirit, saying probably don't want to do that.
Speaker 1:But let me try. Well, I'm not the only one walking the earth today that has multiple scars on their body. Thank you, because common sense said not to do this and someone in the group convinced that it was a good idea, and I want you to notice we joke about it, but it's very real right.
Speaker 2:How many of us have heard?
Speaker 1:oh yeah, you can do that, but you always notice, the one agging it on is not the one doing it, not the one doing it I double dog.
Speaker 2:Dare you to do it, because I'm not going to do it myself, you know there's a few things I won't do.
Speaker 1:On a double dog dairy, I mean, you have to right. And so when we look at that, it's almost as if that's the way we take our advice too. And so I'm reminded when we think about the. How do we identify the fool and how do we recognize this? In Matthew 7, the Lord spoke to this very thing. He said, therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice. And he said here's what this person is. It's a person that builds their house on a rock, and he said so. When the storm comes, that house stands there and he goes. But there's a foolish man. And he says the foolish man takes the easy way, he builds his house on sand and when the same storm comes into his life, his house blows away. And so how do we identify the foolish person? It's the person giving us that advice that cannot stand the test of time. It's that advice that's going to lead to destruction and, quite honestly, most of the time when we hear that we'll see, it's already led to destruction somewhere.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it has. And you brought up a good point last, no, two weeks ago, where you were saying when you're talking to somebody, you want to talk to somebody who's been there. All right, they've done it, they understand there's a life experience that goes along with what they're saying. So when you're seeking this advice from someone, one of the ways I think to determine if this person is speaking out of foolishness or speaking out of wisdom is to know it's something they've been through already, it's something they have done. And now I'm just telling you, I'm giving you advice through what I have already done, what I have already been through, the mistakes that I have made, because there was a point in my life where I was going through that I made a foolish decision and this is what ended up happening in my foolish decision. And now I'm trying to stir you away from that and the wisdom of what I have learned in my mistakes. And therefore, if you do this, this won't happen to you. I believe in if-then consequences. If you do this, this will happen.
Speaker 1:Well, what's the building materials? I mean, that's what Christ related to. So if the building materials of your advice to me, of helping me make a decision, is all Joey's opinion, joey's advice, joey's view, which I take nothing away from, but yet, at the end of the day, at no point in time, if you're able to say to me, you know the scriptures, tell us or consider this idea of scripture and how that applies to where you're at in life, then your building blocks are just inadequate and they're not going to stand the storm. And so I think we have to understand that, because James 1.5 tells us that if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask Joey. That would be a good plan, but that's not what it says. No, really, what does it tell us? Let him ask God, let him ask God. And then he tells us that God's not stingy with that. In fact he says God will liberally give to you.
Speaker 1:And so when we understand that if we need wisdom, it has to begin with God and anything that is our source of wisdom or advice or anchor it literally goes back to, the fool has said in his heart there is no God. Now I want to kind of expand that before we talk more about thinking about how to get the right advice. The fool has said in his heart there's no God. Well, I want to argue that that is not just the atheist, that's also the Christian who refuses to accept what God says, thank you. The fool has said God didn't speak to this. Or the fool has said well, god spoke to it 2,000 years ago, but really I'm supposed to apply that to my life today. And so I would just argue that we're in that circular argument anytime we reject what God tells us and we don't follow out the way God tells us to go. And so if we lack wisdom, we ask God.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so go to God first is what you're saying.
Speaker 1:Advice is a wonderful thing it is but it can also be a disaster, and so it just all depends on who I'm asking. You've heard me use the same question on Sunday morning. If I come into a sum of money, just say $100,000. So apparently I robbed a bank. That's the only way.
Speaker 2:I'm going to get it.
Speaker 1:I come into a sum of money and so I need someone to help me invest it. I'm not going to say I'm looking for someone that's filed bankruptcy five times and they're in bankruptcy now to help me invest my money. That's just not my course of action. I'm going to say I want to find somebody who took a dollar and made 10, and that's the one I want to help me. So advice can be a wonderful thing, but it can be a disaster if you choose to ask the wrong people. If you get the wrong person, yeah. And who do we ask?
Speaker 2:The people that are either in the same rat hole we're in or the people that we know will tell us what we want to hear, what you want to hear and do you think there's just kind of a comfort to that, like a lot of times people are seeking it, but they want to feel good, they want to feel comforted and they're just looking for somebody to say oh baby, oh it's okay here, let me you know, instead of going look, man, what you did was absolutely wrong and you are really headed towards destruction.
Speaker 1:Well, that, I believe, is spot on, and I honestly think that we want to ask advice of people many times, so we have someone to blame. That's another way to say it. I didn't think that we want to ask advice of people many times, so we have someone to blame. That's another way to say it. I didn't think that Right, so you want me I mean, I caught this as we began talking to begin with you want me to come out and look at your fence, so you can tell everyone.
Speaker 2:Richard did this.
Speaker 1:I know where this is headed and I want you to know I'm okay with that. So I'm going to come straighten out that mess. And so, when you consider the fact that our advice, that we're seeking and we always need to say where's this going to lead me, and one of the best ways to determine that is the person I'm talking to at a place I want to be in life Because, as I said, if this person's in the same mess I'm in, why do I want to be there? So I want to talk to someone that possibly has been where I'm at, but someone who can work my way through that. So, when we talk about some of these ideas of working our way out of that I was reading, as you and I talked last week about doing this If you go to chapter 11 of 1 Kings, then you find Solomon coming to the end of his life.
Speaker 1:And as Solomon is coming to the end of his life, you find that he married foreign women in direct contradiction to what God said. He accumulated wealth in contradiction to what God had said, and so he had these things that he began to build up in his life, and so, as he came to the end of his life. He had Jeroboam and Rehoboam that were his sons. All right, rehoboam in 1 Kings 12 was selected to be the king because Jeroboam in 1 Kings 11 had tried to rebel Mm-hmm. Out of all of this, the only reason I bring that around is Rehoboam. When he became king, he had to begin to get direction, get advice and where he was going to go.
Speaker 2:So he asked two people two groups of people.
Speaker 1:First he went to his father's elders, who had helped his father build a kingdom that was second to no other kingdom on earth, and he asked them. He said so what do you think I need to do? And their answer was be a servant, serve the people. And he said. And the elder said if you'll serve the people, they will serve you to the end of the earth. He's processing that Now. The Bible doesn't tell us how he thought about that, but I can imagine him going. I'm king, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm not serving anybody Right, so he's like I'm going to go ask this other group of people and I think it said they were younger.
Speaker 1:He asked his friends okay, that's exactly what he said.
Speaker 1:His friends who were in the same mess? He was Yep All right. And that's exactly what he said His friends who were in the same mess. He was Yep All right. And so he, instead of seeking the advice of the elders, the ones that had been there, that had walked with his dad, the ones that had been through the good times, the bad times, the good decisions, the bad decisions Instead he went to a group of spoiled friends that were just like him, that wanted to be served and not serve, and he said what do you think I should do? They said make it twice as hard on the people, show them who's boss. Well, he did. And that ended in a divided kingdom, absolutely. And Rehoboam had part of the kingdom and Jeroboam, who had already failed, now had the other part. And, of course, the spiral of Israel and that's a simplification, but still the spiral of Israel.
Speaker 2:It's exactly what happened. I wasn't trying to cut you off, but that's exactly what happened. That's the start of the fall of everything, because somebody said, hey, man, this is what you should do. And he didn't want to hear that advice. And so he went and sought advice from somebody who told him what he wanted to hear. Oh, that sounds good. Oh, yeah, that's going to make me feel good. And then, boom, there it is Sorry. When I read that account, I wrote these words the advice we listen to has ripple effects through our life.
Speaker 1:Yes from generation to generation to generation. Who is it that I'll give my ear to? Who is it that I will allow and there's no other way to put that who is it I will allow to speak into my life? Because when I really stop and I consider that, then I'm not going to let just anyone speak into my life. One thing that this world has no shortage of is opinions, very true, and social media has made that 10 times worse. And I mean, this world has opinions, but I don't want opinions. I want solid advice that I can operate off of. And so how do we do that? Where do we begin?
Speaker 2:You said go to God first, because in any other area you're just looking for someone to blame. So come on over and fix my fence, please, exactly, and then blame me and fix my fence, please Exactly, and then blame me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, proverbs 3, 5, and 6, you know verses that many people are familiar with. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. And then he tells us lean not on your own understanding. All your ways, acknowledge him, and then he will direct your paths or make your path straight, all right.
Speaker 1:So, as I'm thinking about who I'm going to seek advice from, it's got to be, first of all, someone who trusts in the Lord with all their heart, someone who is advising me from God's Word, someone that is working in that area. But I think there's a second very important thing, and that is does this person have experience in this area? And, coupled with that, do they have a motive for the advice they're giving me? Okay, the elders that gave Rehoboam the advice, they had experience in that area and, yes, they had a motive. They wanted to see the nation put back on the right path, wanted to see the nation put back on the right path. The young men that gave advice had no experience and they had a motive too they wanted to continue the easy life. And so I think we always have to begin by seek the Lord, acknowledge Him, and then we also have to consider who am I getting this advice from and what is their motive behind even talking to me?
Speaker 2:I like that. I like that. Okay. So we've just spent a lot of time talking about how to recognize a foolish person, how to avoid them. Now I want to talk to the other people out there, the people who truly want to be a good mentor, the people who don't want to be considered foolish, and they want to say how do I avoid being that person who's giving bad advice? How do I say I'm that person they can come to, I'm the person that they can get advice from, and I want to give them good, solid advice, good wisdom, good biblical guidance, so that they don't step into that area of foolishness in their life.
Speaker 1:You know there's. I mean, as the old saying goes, you can Google it, and when you do, I mean Google it.
Speaker 2:It's so sad. That's an old saying now.
Speaker 1:When you look at godly advice, I mean basically it all breaks down. People expand it from three ways to 13 ways, but it all really breaks down to the same, for lack of a better way to put it common sense. Okay, first of all, before seeking advice, you have to clearly define the decision you're trying to make yourself. If I come to you and if you came to me, for instance, talking about your fence, we'll just kind of keep it generic. And you came to me and said I'm thinking about building a fence. I said okay, and you said hey, could you maybe drop by and tell me what you think? Well, I mean, you come to your office one day and I've got a drawing laying on your desk to fence in your entire property, with no access whatsoever for anybody to get in there. And you're like dude, I got to live there too and you told me you wanted to fence in the property. So you gave me no parameters to help make the decision.
Speaker 1:And if you don't think through where you want your fence, then we're out there building a fence and you change it 14 times in the process of building the fence and you think it's crooked. Now where do you keep moving? So I think the first thing you have to do is you have to clearly define what decision do I need to make in life and what's the reason I'm making this decision. If I'm single and I'm beginning to say, okay, I'm dating this girl and, by the way, I'm married, so I'm not Let me clarify.
Speaker 2:It's an example, yeah, example.
Speaker 1:And so I'm saying, all right. So what I'm doing is I'm trying to say is this the woman for me and for a woman? Is this the woman for me and for a woman? Is this the man for me? So, beginning to clearly lay out and understand what does the Bible say of a godly woman, what does the Bible say of a godly man? And so I'm clearly defining what it is. If I'm making an investment, if I'm trying to change jobs, I mean, Scripture speaks to these things generically or specifically, but I need to define what it is that I'm trying to make a decision about before we go to Proverbs 18.13, and we mentioned it earlier Proverbs 18.13 tells us that it is a fool that gives an answer before he even hears the question. And so how is it, until I even know what my question is, that I can talk to you about helping me find an answer?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think one of the notes I took last week was um, a foolish person just keeps on talking without even hearing anything and therefore they're just talking out of—well, I'm not going to say what they're talking out of, because it's a PG-13 podcast at that point, so we'll just say they're talking nonsense.
Speaker 1:Yeah and so—but if you don't know the question to ask, then they're not talking nonsense, they're talking exactly in the same realm of your question. And so when I go to you and ask advice, and then I go to Rhett on staff and ask advice, and then I go to Quinn, pastor Quinn, and then I go to Pastor Alex, and I keep asking all the pastors on our staff the advice until I find one. Then listen Proverbs 18, 17,. The one who states his case first seems right until the other comes and examines him.
Speaker 1:And so if I don't know the question, then it's impossible for me to seek an answer. And you've heard me use that phrase, as we've talked to other people before. You're trying to give answers and you don't even know what the question is. So I think if I'm going to seek advice, the first thing I have to do is get along with God, and I have to clarify what it is I'm even trying to seek an answer to Because, quite honestly, it kind of brings me to my second idea.
Speaker 1:I only seek advice after I seek wisdom from God's Word. And so, as I'm boiling down what it is that I'm trying to come to my advice with, or make my life decision, then I'm going to go to God's Word, and in 2 Timothy 3, verses 16 and 17, all Scripture is given by inspiration, and in that it will help us know what is right. It'll help us know what is wrong and what we can do to get right and how we can even stay right in life, and it tells us that it's there so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped. And so I've got to go to God's Word.
Speaker 2:Well, it's very important and I tell this to people all the time If you're going to other people first, it's just completely out of order, it's out of line. Go to God's Word and seek Him, because he's got the answers in there already. And then the other people that are coming and speaking into your life they're just confirming or affirming what the Lord has already told you and what you've already gotten, and he's told you the answer. Somebody like you or one of the other pastors on staff has said well, this is what the Bible says about it. And oftentimes they'll go. Yeah, I just read that and I just heard that. Well then, what else are you looking for? What are you trying to get away from? You know, I know a lot of times in my life there are decisions that I'm trying to make, especially the big decisions, like am I supposed to move here? Am I supposed to go here? And we've talked about this before.
Speaker 2:When I left one state and went to another state, there was a lot of seeking. There was a lot of searching the scriptures. My wife and I separately searched the scriptures and we came up with the same scriptures to confirm this is the direction we're supposed to go. This is what we're supposed to do. And then we start going talking to other people and they're saying, yeah, this is what I see in the Bible. And then we start hearing sermons about this is what you're supposed to do and this is how you're supposed to do it. And we look at each other and going can you believe? It's like out of everybody in the room, god was using the pastor to say this is what I want you to do with your life. And then we're like, ah, but we saw the scriptures. We already got the answers in the scriptures. Now we're just getting confirmation after confirmation, after confirmation.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and seeking God's will isn't easy. No it's not, and that's something that people struggle with, because I don't know how many times I've said and heard, said I wish God would just put it on a billboard you know that's my answer, Could I?
Speaker 1:just drive down the highway and there it is right, but he does. He doesn't put it in a billboard, but he does put it in a book and I have to dig it out and I have to study. And, yeah, it may not say. When I came to Crossroads as pastor, I couldn't find a verse that said, Richard, you shall go to Crossroads as pastor. But I could find all kinds of scripture to, number one, confirm my call as pastor and number two, where God was leading me, I had all kinds of godly counsel that was helping me make that decision.
Speaker 2:And so it's not always easy Start with what the Bible says, and I'm going to add to that you had people behind the scenes praying for you as well.
Speaker 2:Is this where you're supposed to go, because you had a very good career of what you were doing in ministry you were doing wonderful ministry already and you were just called from one place of ministry to another place of ministry and people behind the scenes were praying for you and helping that to come to fruition. A lot of times in my life I feel like this is what I'm supposed to do and, just be honest, I know there's other people out there like this. You just don't want to go to the Scripture because you already know the answer you're going to be told and you're just like I really don't want that, but you also don't want to be outside of God's will.
Speaker 1:Well, and so we do. We go to the Scriptures, and in the Scriptures, coupled with prayer, I would argue all day long that you can't really say I'm seeking an answer in Scripture if you're not praying.
Speaker 2:If you're not praying.
Speaker 1:Scripture is God speaking to us. Prayer is us speaking to God, and it's a two-way conversation. And when you understand that, it's where you begin to incorporate good and godly people. I have asked many close friends and people over the years to pray with me about, and it's not uncommon for me to say to them will you pray with me about, but I don't need your advice on this right now. All right, and so what I'm telling them is I don't need you to tell me what you think I should do. I need you to simply pray that God will reveal, and there'll be a day that we'll return to this conversation.
Speaker 1:But when I'm in the Bible study prayer phase of trying to seek God, then the last thing I want to do is cloud it with everybody's opinion, because I'm not ready for that yet. And so Jeremiah 33 tells us call to me and I will answer you and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known. Yes, I would rather God make it clear in my life. And then, as I speak with you on the advice side of it, it is a confirming what God has already said to me. But it is not me saying you told me what God said, but the confirmation from you, and so he will show us great things Again. James 1.5,. God will give the wisdom if we will ask, and the problem is, though, many times we ask. James 4 tells us what we ask, but we ask amiss so we can consume it on our own lust.
Speaker 1:One time I was praying about a ministry in a church where to go and what to do and a good friend of mine and a wonderful man of God jokingly and I want to clarify, jokingly said to me. I said I'm not sure what to do here. I've got a couple of really good ministry opportunities. I'm trying to decide. And he looked at me and he said, richard, go where the money is, god is everywhere. He said, richard, go where the money is, god is everywhere.
Speaker 1:And you know, while he was playing around and that is the way the world operates, oh, I was going to say, there's a lot of people who think that way and so we got to be careful. Who we seek our advice from, absolutely, and I will just tell you it's so important. So think about this. I've clearly defined what decision I'm trying to make. Out of that, I have began to seek and search God's Word for confidence and direction. Again, I may not find a thou shalt go verse, but I will find all kinds of principles and precepts that apply to what I'm doing. And in my prayer I'm asking God to give me wisdom and I'm trusting that when I call upon him, he'll show me things that are beyond me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and one of the things that I think is quite important as we talk about how to not become foolish ourselves. I'll just use a personal experience, because, hey, I've done foolish things. You said seek the scriptures, pray about it. And now that you have prayed about it you've sought the scriptures and you've got this confirmation that this is what you're supposed to do you start saying, yeah, but I don't want to do that. And that's kind of what was happening in my life. God said this is the direction I want you to go. I want you to leave this place and I want you to go here. And I thought in my greatness, after the Lord told me to do that, yeah, but that doesn't make sense. Why would I do that? This is a better place for me. I want to stay here. You heard what I said I want and that's a big difference from God wants. So me wanting to stay here, doing this thing in ministry now, because look at me, I'm justifying. Well, I'm still doing God's work and this is what the Lord has called me to do, and I'm right here where I'm supposed to be, even though the Lord has already said go here.
Speaker 2:What started happening over here is I got real uncomfortable Right and God was really shaking things up here. And now, in my foolishness, I'm out of line because I'm not doing what I know the Lord has called me to do, because I don't want to do what the Lord's called me to do. Why? Because I was scared. There was fear attached to that, even though the Lord said you don't have to be afraid, I am with you all the time and I'll be with you in this step. I was real comfortable here. I'm real comfortable here. So foolishness for me was not being the man of God I was supposed to be and follow his calling and being in his will and trying to stay in my own will over here. Well, in that foolishness, all type of things started happening and I got really uncomfortable and God was shaking things up. Well, at the same time it was happening over here because God was saying I want you to move from here and go to here. He was telling somebody else you need to let him go from here so that he can go there. But this person, in his own desire, in his own will, in his own want, didn't want to let me go because, again, we had a great relationship with each other and we were doing ministry together. It was a great ministry we were doing together.
Speaker 2:Well, what started happening to us? Because neither one of us was in God's will, we started butting heads and our relationship started like getting really hard and nothing that we were doing together would work. And then finally, you know it's one of those I need to talk to you. Well, yeah, we need to have a talk. You know that type of conversation.
Speaker 2:But when we finally met and I was getting ready to tell him, look, man, the Lord's calling me to leave this place, he walked into the room and he said when are you leaving this place? I said how did you even know? He said man, the Lord told me months ago I had to let you go. I didn't want to let you go. I said the Lord told me I had to go. I didn't want to go. He said well, that's why we've been butting heads with each other In our foolishness, in our own wanting to do what we wanted. We were both outside of God's will and God was not able to accomplish what he wanted to accomplish what he wanted to accomplish. So I think a very important thing in that is after you have sought the scriptures, after you have heard the voice of the Lord tell you this is what you're supposed to do. You've prayed about it. You've got the confirmation. This is what you're supposed to do.
Speaker 1:You better do it Exactly what I personally do when I'm in a big decision, and they're one of those things where there's multiple good answers yeah, staying where you were was a good answer. Y'all had a successful—you were doing great things for God. Yeah, leaving was a good answer because God had told you to do so. I try to sit down and literally lay out. It's not uncommon for me to make the list of okay, this is option A, this is option B, these are the pros, these are the cons.
Speaker 1:Now, I'm not pro-ing and con-ing based on I make more money here, but I'm saying these are the scriptures, the confirmations that God has given me. These maybe are unanswered questions or concerns, but I begin to lay out the choices. Well, this helps me hone more in on my prayer. This is where I'm at and these are the choices before me, and I think that brings us to Tim being able to clearly say I really love it here, but this is where God wants me and I think we can solve a lot. Own, because I think that's one of the most important things for us to do is, again, that go to God's Word, sit down in prayer, god's Word Again. I like to begin to jot down the pros, the cons, and again I'm not humanly. I mean, what does Scripture teach me? How do I work through this? And then, and only then, do we seek advice. Now, sometimes you might have to step the seek advice up a little quicker, and I understand that. But I want to clarify seek advice from godly people.
Speaker 2:From godly people. And let's just also clarify it's not wrong to question. God does not mind you questioning him. No, in fact, he wants you to question him because he wants to answer those questions for you. So for you sitting and saying, look, I've got to write these things down, I've got to ask questions about this and this and this and this and this and this. That's an important thing to do, but watch God answer those questions, because he will.
Speaker 1:You know, I've never left one ministry and went to another and made more money at the one that I went to than the one I was leaving. And on paper, everyone would tell you how foolish that is, of course. And yet I've never had God disappoint, I've never had God provide and I've never failed to have God bless. But if I would have started by talking to people and would have began with well, yeah, this is a great opportunity, but I have to take a cut too, I mean, humanly speaking, everybody's going. Oh no, why would you? And so we start with God, and then we begin seeking the advice. Now, when I say, godly people, I want somebody that has a track record of walking with God, thank you. I don't want someone that has a track record of I got mad at this church, so I went to this church, and I got mad at this church, so I went to this church. And I don't want that person. I don't want the person who can't control themselves and so they're going to try to tell me what to do. I want the person that has a track record that says they walk with God. Their life demonstrates that. The history of their life shows a pattern of that the history of their life shows a pattern of that, and so seeking advice from godly people, but I also want someone who has experience in the field that I want to talk about. If I'm trying to decide, rather, to leave this ministry and go to this ministry, then I want to talk to someone that has experience in that. I want to talk to someone that's going to help me understand what God can use me in this area in or if it's something I'm seeking and I really, really want to do this and yet I keep hitting that rock wall, then seeking the advice of that godly person that could help me understand. It may be what you want to do, but it is not what God wants from you, and so I want somebody with experience in that. And again, they don't have to be a pastor to advise me in some decisions about ministry, but it does have to be someone that walks with God and someone that has some experience in making decisions that, on paper, made no sense.
Speaker 1:You know, I love the story of David when he was going to fight Goliath, and so he came and first thing he said is why are all you people hiding on this side and Goliath's over there? And he goes who is that uncircumcised Philistine going to talk to us that way? And so when he said I'll fight him, I want you to notice everybody had an opinion, even Saul, the king, that should have been fighting him. He said here, put my armor on, I won't wear it, but you should wear it. And David tried it on and he said no, no, this doesn't fit. And he said what do you want? He said I just want five rocks, five rocks, five rocks. He said yeah, he's got four brothers.
Speaker 2:And we read about that later, by the way. Yes, exactly, we do.
Speaker 1:And he said if they're dumb enough to come, I'm going to get them too. And that's Richard's translation by the way.
Speaker 1:But when you look at that, if he would have listened to everyone in the camp that was telling him, his own brother said who are you? You're a kid, and yet he sought after and did what God called him to do. And so I think we have to be careful who we listen to the advice from. And you got to seek God before you seek people, and so we have to do that. And so when we pray, we go to Scripture, we work our way through that as the Holy Spirit directs us and guides us. Then we have a confidence.
Speaker 1:You know, in Romans 8, it tells us that when we don't even know what to pray for the Spirit does, the Spirit will pray for you, yep. And so you were saying, talking about your own situation where I didn't want to leave, but God was telling me to leave. You know what Silence is something we don't like, and we don't like it when we're talking to God, and we don't like it when we're talking to people, but sometimes just sitting down in your chair and saying, god, I got nothing, I got nothing, and just sitting silently and letting God do what God does and give you something.
Speaker 2:And that's a key point, because a lot of times in my prayer I'll say Lord, I want you to speak to me. Lord, I'm listening for you and I'm just waiting, I'm expecting to hear from you. Will you just speak to me, lord? It's like the Lord saying shut up so I can speak to you Right. Will you be quiet, be still, so that I now can start speaking to you. Will you be quiet, be still, so that I now can start speaking to you.
Speaker 1:Well, swift to hear and slow to speak goes with prayer as much as it does with conversation. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Very important.
Speaker 1:I've got to do that and I know we're out of time. But let me just real quickly say when someone asks me for advice, I need to respond in the same way that I'm seeking the advice. So if you come to me and say how do we build a fence, then I told you we call a contractor. If you come to me and say I'm seeking God and it could be a number of things I mean you come to me and say you're seeking God about leaving, and I will tell you.
Speaker 2:You've already told me don't say it on the podcast.
Speaker 1:Well, I will just tell you that's not God, but it is. But seriously, if you're seeking God and you're praying through hard decisions and you came to me and you said, look, this is a decision I'm trying to make and this is a real struggle, I will be honest with you. My first thing is going to be I've got some gut instincts, but will you give me a couple of days to pray about this and seek God myself? And I want to do the same process. I want to start with Scripture. Okay, this was the question.
Speaker 1:What are some Scriptures that I can find to apply to this? As I begin to pray, how does God make these real in my life? And then I can generically even bring others in and say, hey, I've got a friend of mine and this is his question, this is where I'm at, and so I want that same opportunity to give back, the same way I'm asking someone to do for me. So I just want to close with that thought, if you will. Same opportunity to give back, the same way I'm asking someone to do for me. And so I just want to close with that thought, if you will. Don't assume that the way I get advice is not the way I give advice.
Speaker 2:That's wonderful. So, closing this out, the reality is and these are some of the notes that I took in order to avoid folly, to seek wisdom, go to God. First you said Seek decisions from godly people, and then you also added who have a track record. You've got to make sure they have a track record. Know the reason for your decision, know the reason that you're even asking the question, and stop looking for someone to blame. Don't look for somebody to blame, just go in, seek God. Don't look for somebody to blame, just go in seek God, seek godly people. Know the reason, don't look for people to blame, and then you can avoid folly and you would be considered one of the wise.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and you know we all have people like that in our life. But we tend, as we said when we began, we tend to gravitate toward those who will tell us what we want to hear, not those that will tell us what we need to hear. And so let me just be honest with you. If you're listening to the podcast today and you've been seeking advice and you're angry at someone who gave you advice and they said the Bible says and you became angry about that, let me encourage you to circle back to that person and say let's talk more about what the Bible says. And I would leave it at that.
Speaker 2:Amen, I love that. Well, guys, we want to say thank you so much for joining us here on the Reality Podcast, where we talk about real life and real faith. Please go like, subscribe, download, comment. Let us know what you think about this. Let me know if there's somebody in your life that you're seeking wisdom for, if you want some godly advice, we've got people here who would love to give you some godly advice. For now, we would just like to say God bless you and have a wonderful day.